How Do You Want Your Life To Be Celebrated?

By Barbara KarnesDecember 01, 2021

When my step father died we asked the priest we, as a family, had known for years to conduct the funeral. He apologized and said church rules were that he could not do a service in a church because it “wasn’t his church.” He didn’t have a church because he worked in a hospital. SO Don’s funeral was in a church that our family used to attend but conducted by a priest we didn’t know, who didn’t know us. It was a cold, impersonal service, an official, traditional church “send off” but not particularly comforting. 

Five months later my mother died and we were considering funeral options. We definitely didn’t want a reoccurrence of Don’s non-comforting experience. My sister and I contacted our hospital priest friend and asked if he could do some kind of a service at the funeral home. He said yes BUT he would be on call and at the last minute may not be available, that we should have a back up plan.

We did just that.  As a family we planned what to say, what to read, who to share, when to open it up for anyone to share. We were so pleased with our finished service that we told Father B. we didn’t need him for the service. We would do our own funeral at the mortuary and, if available, would he meet us at the cemetery for an interment blessing? He agreed.

We, a family of daughters and son, grandchildren, cousins, nieces, and nephews, shared our love and appreciation for the matriarch of the family. We did it our way, with our words, our stories, our and others sharing. It was the best funeral I have ever gone to—-and I’ve been to many.

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